My Relationship with food

This topic may be activating for some readers.

Learning about eating disorders and body image has been so thought provoking and has inspired me to share some of my experience on the topic.

I struggled with some of these issues throughout the years, and whether it was ingrained in me at a young age through my role models or I was exposed through media, the expectations I put on myself were ones that left me feeling less than. This limited belief that if I didn’t look a certain way, I didn’t measure up. At times I felt that if I could control my weight and appearance that I was in control. Unfortunately, the very opposite was true. The more I tried to control the more out of control it got. The obsession with what I saw in the mirror as being flawed consumed me. It was this dislike and unacceptance of self that would push me into these thoughts and behaviors. It was a distorted self-perception.

I have learned that having a healthy relationship with food and my body is what I needed to achieve. I am almost fifty and never thought of this as a relationship. My thoughts about what I can’t eat, the guilt and shame of eating bad foods, the shame of not exercising more, or starving myself because I ate too many calories the day before, are all signs of an unhealthy relationship. We don’t have to have full blown disorders to have disordered eating. It is a spectrum and can show up or start in subtle ways.

Being preoccupied with food might be one sign that you may want to look into this area more. This can show up by; restricting food, cutting out certain food groups, assigning food as "good or bad", feeling guilt and shame when eating foods deemed "bad or unhealthy", exercising to earn food, or working off what you ate, not listening to signs of hunger, or you feel like a failure when you divert off one of these plans.

Seeing myself through different lenses has helped me overcome these challenges. Learning to recognize what I see is not necessarily what others see. Treating my body as a gift that needs nourishment, kindness and compassion and being able to extend grace when I don’t always meet all of its needs has helped me be an overcomer.

It can be a long road to self-acceptance, and self-love.

If you need someone to talk to about your relationship with food and how to move forward in a more loving and compassionate way, Let’s talk!!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoZLPSw8U8